Now. I will have a blog. I've never "blogged" or written to no-one-in-particular outside of the angst-filled days of the livejournal, so this should be interesting.
I spent so much time thinking and feeling and having minor meltdowns over the last year that I forgot I had some things to say and some outlets through which to say them. I promise to update often, even if you won't read it.
I can't tell what posts will contain, but I think there will be a lot about food. I used to hate food because I thought I couldn't have a good relationship with it. But with a kitchen and foodies in my life, I've realized I love to cook (and might be good at it?). What excellent therapy in dark days and fun nights. Soups, pastas, desserts, and survival food. It brings everyone closer! Phase two of loving food (not lusting after) will involve some form of germination.
I think these posts will also include creative writing- something that I had all but given up on in the last year. Between moving, working full time, feeling guilty about not volunteering, feeling anxious about money, feeling stretched in 100 directions in present and future, feeling angry at sexual perpetrators, and feeling tired from feeling so many feelings, I stopped writing.
Viagra is to ED as _____ is to quarter-life-crisis-induced writer's impotence. A) blogging? Let's find out.
I spent about 400 consecutive days accidentally being a spectator to the shaping of futures around me, and forgot to act. I got wrapped up thinking about social, political, and gender issues with my friends and family (who I can only imagine are about to kill me if I say the word "rape" one more time) and became "that girl" who gets involved in conversations and will teach you a thing or two and let my work overflow into my personal life. In short, I should stop. Instead, I'll try to do it all here, put it in writing, and shut up in most other respects.
I can't fight fall, either. Maybe that's why I'm making this blog. I wanted summer to be here because spring failed to thaw us and I needed it to be so steamy that nothing else mattered but surviving the heat. That didn't happen. So, instead of shaking my fist at the sky, I'll pray for a dry fall and look forward to suede boots, cider, cooking, and letting this season be the one where I feel collected, calm, and capable of the challenges that I'm about to face (graduate school applications, parents' anniverary party, new job (?), finally being financial secure, etc.). I can do it. Blogs can help.